Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Iron Maiden for Babies

It seems both of my cute boys have inherited my penchant for only getting terribly sick in the middle of the night. With Sam we visited the ER several times in the middle of the night. We became even more familiar with the ER during my pregnancy with Liam. So last night when Liam’s fever tipped the thermometer at 103.5 I thought well at least they already have all our information. Liam has had the same cold that we have all been battling but unfortunately his little body is not as strong yet and he has had a tough time. Because of my over anxiousness to take Sam to the ER, when Liam’s temp. hit 102 I thought "it's okay, its okay" if you take him to the ER all they'll do is give him Tylenol and you will go home exhausted. But this morning when He woke up crying (whimpering more like it-- the saddest sound ever) I thought well lets see what his temperature is at. When the thermometer beeped me back to consciousness I nearly fell off the bed. The poor guy was sweating it up at 103.5.
I woke up Chris and asked him what we should do, knowing whether he wanted me to or not I was going to the ER. He agreed so off I went. He whimpered in the back seat the whole way there and did his little gasp in as I pulled him out into the unusually freezing air. We checked in quickly and they took his temp again—104. Freak out freak out. Visions of Liam having Seizures or brain damage took hold. (Important side note, I have an insane imagination when it comes to worst case scenarios.) The Nurse calmly hooked up a tiny IV so he could get some hydration and medicine. They stripped him down to just his diaper and asked me not to hold him as my body heat would make his temperature rise. All I could think of was that beginning scene in City of Angels where the mom puts the little girl in the cool bath trying to cool her off before rushing her to the ER where-- well lets not talk about it…. Yeah horrifying, this is why I don’t watch scary movies I remember them FAR too vividly.
Then it happened—they told me he would have to get a chest x-ray. Now being the ER savvy mom that I am I knew that meant one thing-- the baby iron maiden. If you have never experienced a baby chest x-ray I am so happy for you and pray that you never do. They wheel out this contraption, the bottom is kind of reminiscent of a saddle where their legs hang over the side. The top is thick plastic which is strapped around the front and back with their arms stretched up over their heads. It is done tightly so that they cannot wiggle. For any mom seeing their baby in that position is horrifying, augmented by the wailing of your poor sick little child. I was pregnant with Liam when Sam had to have one taken, but this time I was able to stand there and hold his little hands that poked up out. HUGE crocodile tears were spilling out and I found myself crying along with him. I am sure the x-ray tech was thinking where is the Father? Surely he would hold it together.
After this ordeal I totally lied and said that he needed to eat just so I could hold him. The medicine seemed to be kicking in so he was finally cooling down. The doctor came back and let us know that he didn’t have RSV but did have double ear infections (as always) and was being hit really hard by this flu and cold going around. He wanted me to stay till his temp was down to 100 and gave us some antibiotics and strict orders to come back in if he didn’t turn around within two days. PHEW. Liam, as usual, was adorable through the whole ordeal, well except for the baby iron maiden, but who can blame him. He talked all the way home then we both crashed for two hours while Chris entertained Sam with his new train set.
It really hit home to me today as I prayed over and over in the car on the way to the hospital that nothing would happen to my boys, (so many moments of enlightenment happen in the car) that there is a distinct possibility that my heart will be broken several times over the span of my time as a mother. This of course is of set by the daily and overwhelming wonderful experiences and it hasn’t happened yet I just was flooded by the intense unyielding love I have for my boys. Ugh I tear up even now as I think about anything ever happening to them. That primal motherly instinct just rages up so startlingly. I truly did not know such an amazingly intense love could exist and it is wonderful. Much to Sams frustration I made him snuggle a little longer with me today while reading a book, then couldn’t help but lay down and nap with Liam. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father not only for the safety of my boys but the blessing of being a Mother. What a wonderful gift, and I am so very grateful for it.


Thornocks said...

That is a scary story! I almost cried reading it and picturing cute little Liam getting that x-ray! Let us know if you need anything. Also, I think we got our lease worked out so we will be staying. And I have some pictures!

Robyn Reynolds said...

Reading this little event made me very excited and extremely terrified to be a mother. Poor little Liam! I can’t imagine watching your child being strapped down and feeling so yucky. I am so glad he is okay. I sure love you guys!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad thay Liam is ok. Gosh, that would be so awful especially when there is nothing that you can do for him. You sound like a great mother and always knowing exactly what to do. I want to know how you pronounce Liam. I feel that I am not saying right.

Tillmann Fam said...

Kelly, how scary!! I'm glad Liam is feeling better-poor guy :( Maybe it's just the pregnancy harmones kicking in, but I totally almost broke into tears reading it. Hope you all are feeling well! We're getting super excited to see you!

Nora, Adam, and Samuel said...

holy cow i totally broke down when i read that (and i have no excuse for pregnancy hormones...) thanks for sharing your sweet feelings about being a mom. i agree, especially about the primal rage bit. love and miss!